If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
