your room smells of hookers.
And success
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
