you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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