A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
