did you get engaged???
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
