lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
