I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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