His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
