dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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