Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
