Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize