Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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