Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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