you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
