I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
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