You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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