he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
