Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I love how my cats smell like pot.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
