16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
