Already got asked if we're dating
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
