so that wasnt chicken after all
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
