Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
