Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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