that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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