their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
