Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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