No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
