I wanna bring you to show and tell
and she was petting her beer can
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize