Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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