Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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