Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize