just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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