Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
