Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
