Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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