I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize