my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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