At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
i've created a new STD.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
