Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
