i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
