Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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