Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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