Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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