is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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