if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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