Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Randomize
