its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
