I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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