nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
