apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
