OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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