Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize