haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
