i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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