When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
