I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
