If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize