Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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